People think revenge is simple.
Someone hurts you. You hurt them back.
Machiavelli and Aurelius saw revenge in completely different ways.
One believed revenge was sometimes necessary. The other believed it was beneath you.
And depending on which path you choose, your entire life can look different.
Machiavelli believed that power must be protected. Aurelius believed that character must be protected.
At first glance, these ideas seem incompatible.
They’re not. One focuses on the external world. The other focuses on the internal one.
Machiavelli understood something uncomfortable about human nature. People often mistake kindness for weakness. If someone attacks your position, reputation, or authority and faces no consequences, you’re not demonstrating virtue. You’re teaching people what they can get away with.
For him, retaliation wasn’t emotional. It was strategic. The purpose wasn’t satisfaction. The purpose was deterrence.
Marcus Aurelius saw things differently. He believed that allowing another person’s behavior to dictate your emotional state was a form of surrender.
Why let someone occupy your mind rent-free? Why become bitter because someone else lacks character?
The best revenge, he argued, is refusing to become like the person who wronged you. Most people think this sounds passive.
It’s not. Anyone can lash out. Few people can remain composed when they have every reason not to. That’s power.
And this is where things get interesting.
In modern life, most people get revenge wrong. They don’t choose Machiavelli. They don’t choose Aurelius.
They choose resentment.
They replay conversations in their head. They stalk social media accounts. They fantasize about future success purely so someone else can regret losing them.
Years pass. The other person moves on. They don’t. That’s not revenge. That’s self-imposed imprisonment.
Real power looks different.
Sometimes power means setting a boundary. Sometimes it means removing someone from your life. Sometimes it means taking decisive action. And sometimes it means doing absolutely nothing because the person already lost more than they realize. The question isn’t whether revenge is right or wrong.
The real question is:
What are you trying to protect? Your ego? Your reputation? Your peace? Your future?
Personally, I think the strongest people know when to use both.
Handle the situation with Machiavelli. Handle your emotions with Aurelius.
Protect your position. Protect your character. Find a way in which you never have to sacrifice one for the other.
